There are a couple of things you’ve probably heard said over and over. The first is, “Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?”. What you’ll generally hear next is the response which goes something like, “God DOES answer your prayers. Sometimes he just says ‘No’”.

The fact is, it’s not God who says “No”. In fact, God - the infinite source of “All that Is”, ONLY says “Yes”! God is the ultimate “creation” mechanism. God responds PRECISELY to YOUR creative catalyst.

So you say, “Well, I’ve been asking God for money, but he hasn’t given it to me.”. The answer lies in HOW you are asking! Remember that God - the Universe - responds in a very precise way! It’s a matter of Quantum Physics! If your prayer goes something like, “Dear God. I’m in trouble. I have no money. I can’t pay any of the bills. I need money!”, then THAT is what will be real for you. You WILL be in trouble. You WILL have no money! You WON’T be able to pay the bills, and you WILL NEED MONEY.

The Universe feeds back to you what you give it - and in fact, amplifies it!

If who you are “being” is a person with what we’ll call “lack consciousness”, then LACK will be your reality! Every thought you have about “not having” will be mirrored in your experience of reality.

Do you desire wealth? Then BE wealthy first, and the Universe will respond.

The fact is, we are here for the express purpose of creating our realities and living incredible lives. We are the manifestation of God’s experience in the physical. God does not desire for us to live in lack, and in fact strongly desires that we have everything we desire. It is WHY we have desires in the first place! We are not only meant to have our desires realized, but we have the ability to have them manifest in our lives WHENEVER we want!

However, our egos and limiting belief systems have distorted our power. We have made ourselves “small”. We have created thoughts about wealth and prosperity that make them inaccessible to us. Yet they are RIGHT THERE…waiting for us to experience them.

God does not say, “No, you may not experience wealth.” God says, “YES! EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING!”. However the “mechanics” of reality creation require you to BELIEVE that you already have the things you desire. That’s why it’s so easy for so many people to experience “lack”. It’s easier for them to believe that they “can’t have something” than it is for them to have everything they want because they have all this external “evidence”. The fact is, however, that it is just as “easy” to have either one. It is simply a matter of your belief.

Your current experience is the PERFECT manifestation of your current belief system. It is the EFFECT, not the cause. YOU are the cause your experience. When you can integrate that, you can begin to create consciously from the inside out(which is the only way you CAN create). You can break out of the “loop” which has you believing that your external circumstances are causing your experience.

You must understand that whatever your experience is right now, it is God (the Universe, All that Is) saying “YES” to whoever it is you are being, thinking, speaking, and acting.

To create consciously you MUST “be”, “think”, “speak”, and “act” that your desires are already fulfilled - and they shall be. To the extent that you do these things, you will experience the “yes” that you REALLY desire from God much more quickly.

Bob Doyle is the CEO and founder of Boundless Living and the developer of the “Wealth Beyond Reason” and Six Figure Streams programs, which provide a continuing education of the physics of wealth, abundance, and joyous living through the Law of Attraction.

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations — extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six-year-old. For weeks, he’d been memorizing songs for his school’s “Winter Pageant.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there’d be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation.  All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down.  Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats.  As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor.  Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song.

Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as “Christmas,” I didn’t expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment — songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer.  So, when my son’s class rose to sing, “Christmas Love,” I was slightly taken aback by its bold title.

Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads.  Those in the front row-center stage — held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing “C is for Christmas,” a child would hold up the letter C.  Then, “H is for Happy,” and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, “Christmas Love.”

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter “M” upside down — totally unaware her letter “M” appeared as a “W.” The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one’s mistake.  But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her “W.” Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together.  A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities.

For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: ”C H R I S T W A S L O V E”

Author of the Article: Candy Chand is an inspirational author of several books, including Under God’s Wings, Ashley’s Garden, Gift of Grace, and Christmas Love. She lives in Rancho Murieta, California.

We hear so much about forgiveness, in our churches, on Oprah, in new age magazines, but do we truly understand what the big deal about forgiveness is? We read that if we forgive others and ourselves we are doing our spiritual work and becoming better people, but what does that mean to us? You can forgive that guy you dated a while back until you run into him someplace and then you want to wreak revenge on him. You can forgive your parents for your horrible childhood but as soon as you get on the phone with your Dad you are arguing just like you always have. So, what good is forgiveness anyway?

The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart not from the mind. Knowing in your rational mind that your parents did the best they could to raise you is not enough to constitute forgiveness. That is why every time you are with your Dad you still argue. If you really forgave him you would not be reacting that way. You would have compassion for his dream and understand that he is just expressing his point of view. If you truly let go of the pain of your childhood, your self-importance, and your need to be right about your point of view, you would not be taking him personally any more. If you were not taking him personally you would not be angry and it would not be necessary to punish him by behaving like an angry child. It behoves us to look at ourselves with honesty and objectivity. You can say you have forgiven someone in your life, but the proof is in the pudding.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~Catherine Ponder

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone, your heart is telling you that you have not resolved your issues with them. In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person. All of this begs the question, how do we forgive? First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories about why you behave the way you do. Stop blaming your behaviour on other people and take responsibility for your emotional reactions. If you could forgive all the people in your life who have hurt or wounded you it would be possible to be in control of your behaviour instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time. Imagine living life without experiencing a constant emotional roller coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy! That would be bliss!

The important thing is to have awareness of what has transpired and be able to tell yourself the truth about it. Have you truly forgiven or has your rational mind been telling you a story that you have? Once you have determined what is truth and what is a justification, you are ready for the next step. Second, look at your life with clarity. Try to see what happened in your past, not only from your point of view, but also from the other person’s point of view. We need to be able to walk in the other persons shoes to understand why things happened the way they did. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they did or how they did it. Not at all. Your values and beliefs may be very different from theirs. All this means is that you can see the whole truth of what happened and the whole truth encompasses all points of view, not just your own.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Take some time to listen to how you tell the story of your life. Perhaps it would be helpful to journal the story of a particular time in your life that you have been challenged by. Listen to what you have written. Does it sound like you were victimized by your circumstances? Be objective, if someone heard your story would they say someone did you wrong, that you are resentful, vengeful and angry? If so, this is your first clue that you are seeing things from only one point of view. Why? Well, if you felt like someone hurt you then obviously you took the other persons actions personally. You assumed you knew why they did what they did according to your point of view and your beliefs about their words or actions. Chances are that your interpretation of what the other person did or said was not what the other person had in mind when they interacted with you. The key is to imagine what happened from their point of view.

If I say that my husband cheated on me and ruined our marriage and hurt me, I am only telling part of the story. What about my responsibility for my half of the relationship? It is doubtful that I was a vision of loveliness throughout the entire marriage. I had to contribute half of that relationship because all relationships take the contribution of both parties. When I can see both sides clearly, and have compassion for my husband, I can forgive him. But if I am attached to my victim point of view and blame everything on him, forgiveness will never come. Chances are I will bring my anger and resentment into my next relationship as well. This scenario applies to all human interactions in our lives. Rape, physical, emotional and mental abuse, cheating, violence, etc… are all included. Yes, even what we judge to be the most heinous of human activities can be forgiven.

“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” ~Sara Paddison

Seeing things with the eyes of truth means that you stop judging the activities of others and, instead, take responsibility for your interpretation of those activities. It means being responsible for how you write the story of what happened. I could say yes, my husband cheated on me in our marriage but, gosh, I was not aware of how my actions impacted our situation. We both had a lot to learn from that relationship. I am glad I can see what happened clearly and have gratitude for the opportunity to grow and become a better person. even if it hurt pretty badly for a while. The key word here is gratitude! We judge everything that happens in life as good or bad, right or wrong. The truth is life just happens, and life is exactly as it is. As long as we are always judging others and life situations according to our point of view, we will never be able to have gratitude for the challenges and experiences life sends our way. No matter how enlightened a person you may be, things will always happen in life. People you love will die, relationships will come and go, the stock market will crash and rise, your car may be totalled but, if you have gratitude for life’s challenges, you will always be writing a beautiful happy story of your life! Even better, you will never feel victimized by your circumstances.

You may think I am living my life in a fairy tale, but I assure you I’m not. We have been domesticated to process our life in a certain way. If you don’t believe me just watch one soap opera on TV. Everyone is stressed out, creating drama, having emotional outbursts, screaming and arguing, defending their points of view, and generally creating a life of misery! Soap operas are popular because they mimic our lives. I am suggesting a different way of perceiving life, one without judgment and with the ability to see the points of view of other people and to see beliefs other than your own. One where you take responsibility for your mind and what it thinks and, as a result of this internal chatter, how you choose to react to any situation. When you can truly see the other person’s point of view then you can forgive from the heart. True compassion of the human experience is the place from which forgiveness begins. Compassion is an act of love that is free of attachment. Of course, the kind of love I am talking about is unconditional love.

“Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.” — David McArthur & Bruce McArthur

Once you have seen the truth you must make the decision to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to. This requires you to take action. If you are attached to your pain, resentment, and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions, this will be a difficult step for you. Taking action requires letting go of the very thing you have been holding on to for so many years. There is comfort in what we find familiar, even if we are experiencing pain and suffering. The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek. It takes absolute faith in yourself plus courage, will, and discipline to let go. But once you let go, it will as if the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders. In this process it is important to forgive not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves. For most people, giving ourselves the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.

• Forgive yourself for using people in your life to hurt yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not having clarity, for blaming others, and for not taking responsibility for your actions.
• Forgive yourself for wounding others and for the anger, jealousy, and hate you directed toward others.
• Forgive yourself for participating in situations that went against your integrity.
• Forgive yourself for not respecting yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not trusting yourself and having faith in your abilities.
• Forgive yourself for trying to control the people you love.
• And, of course, forgive yourself for not loving yourself 100% just the way you are!

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”– Abraham Lincoln

More than once my teacher, don Miguel Ruiz, said “In order to merge with spirit your heart must be as light as a feather.” Well, when you have finally detached from the anger, resentment, and pain of your story your heart will feel as light as a feather. Not only that, but for the first time in your adult life you will be happy, truly happy, and your life will reflect the change back to you in every way. After all what we think in our minds is what manifests in our lives! The bottom line is that we forgive because we love ourselves so much that we want to give ourselves the gift of personal freedom. We forgive not because the other person necessarily deserves it, but because we do not want to carry that load around until we die. Anger, hate, and jealousy will make you old, resentful and ugly, inside and out. The question is, how much do you love and respect yourself? Is it enough to give yourself the gift of forgiveness? I hope so.

About the Author:

Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Toltec Wisdom and Banish Mind Spam!. Having trained with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements®, she currently takes students on spiritual journeys www.journeysofthespirit.com works with personal apprentices and enjoys being extremely happy. You can reach her at info@sherirosenthal.com or www.sherirosenthal.com and www.withforgiveness.com.

I needed to go from Xujiahui to the airport, so I hurriedly concluded a meeting and I was looking for a taxi in front of the Meiluo building.  A taxi driver saw me and very professionally came in a straight line and stopped right in front of me.  Thus followed the story that astonished me greatly as if I had attended a lively MBA course.  In order to faithfully preserve the intent of the taxi driver, I have tried to reproduce his original words according to my memory.

“Where do you want to go?  Good, the airport.  At Xujiahui, I loved to get business in front of the Meiluo building.  Over here, I only work two places: Meiluo building (美罗) and Junyao building (均瑶).  Did you know?  Before I picked you up, I circled around Meiluo building twice before I saw you!  People who come out of office building are definitely not going to some place nearby …”

“Oh?  You have a method!”  I agreed.

“A taxi driver must also have scientific methods,” he said.  I was surprised and I got curious: “What scientific methods?”

“I have to know statistics.  I have made detailed calculations.  Let me tell you.  I operate the car 17 hours a day, and my hourly cost is 34.5 RMB …”

“How did you arrive at that?” I asked.

“You calculate.  I have to pay 380 RMB to the company each day for the car.  The gas is about 210 RMB.  I work 17 hours per day.  On an hourly basis, the fixed cost is the 22 RMB that I give to the taxi company and an average of 12.5 RMB per hour in gasoline expenses.  Isn’t that 34.5 RMB?”  I was a bit surprised.  I have taken taxis for ten years, but this is the first time that a taxi driver has calculated the costs this way.  Previously, the taxi drivers all tell me that the cost per kilometer was 0.3 RMB in addition to the total company fee.

“Costs should not be calculated on a per-kilometer basis.  It should be calculated on an hourly basis.  You see, each meter has a ‘review’ function through which you can see the details of the day.  I have done a data analysis.  The averarge time gap between customers is seven minutes.  If I started counting the costs when someone gets in, it is 10 RMB for about 10 minutes.  That means each 10 RMB customer takes 17 minutes of time, which costs 9.8 RMB (=34.5 x 17 / 60).  This is not making money!  If we say that customers who want to go to Pudong, Hangzhou or Qingpu are like meals, then a 10 RMB customer is not even a bite of food.  You can only say that this is just a sprinkle of MSG.”

Great!  This driver did not sound like a taxi driver.  He seemed more like an accountant.  “So what you do then?”  I was even more interested and I continued my questioning.  It looked like I was going to learn something new on the way to the airport.

“You must not let the customer lead you all over the place.  You decide what you want to do based upon the location, time and customer.”  I was very surprised, but this sounded significant.  “Someone said that the taxi driving is a profession that depends on luck.  I don’t think so.  You have to stand in the position of the customer and consider things from the customer’s perspective.”  This sounded very professional, and very much like many business management teachers who say “put yourself in others’ shoes.”

“Let me give you an example.  You are at the entrance to a hospital.  There is someone holding some medicine and there is someone else holding a wash basin.  Which person will you pick up?”  I thought about it and I said that I didn’t know.

“You take the one with the wash basin.  If you have a minor complaint that you want to be examined and to get some medicine, you don’t usually go to a faraway hospital.  Anyone who is carrying a wash basin has just been discharged from the hospital.  When people enter the hospital, some of them die.  Today, someone on the second floor dies.  Tomorrow, someone on the third floor dies.  Those who make it out of the hospital usually have a feeling of having been given a second life and they recognize the meaning of life again — health is the most important thing.  So on that day, that person told me, “Go … go to Qingpu.”  He did not even blink.  Would you say that he wanted to take a taxi to People’s Plaza to transfer to the Qingpu line subway?  Absolutely not!”

I began to admire him.

“Let me give you another example.  That day at People’s Plaza, three people were waving at me.  One was a young woman who had just finished shopping and was holding some small bags.  Another was a young couple who were out for a stroll.  The third one was a man who wore a silk shirt and a down jacket and holding a notebook computer bag.  I spent three seconds looking at each person and I stopped in front of the man without hesitation.  When the man got in, he said: ‘Yannan Elevated Highway.  South North Elevated Highway …’  Before even finishing, he could not help but ask, ‘Why did you stop in front of me without hesitating?  There were two people in front.  They wanted to get on as well.  I was too embarrassed to fight with them.’  I replied, ‘It is around noon and just a dozen or so minutes before one o’clock.  That young woman must have slipped out at noon to buy something and I guess that her company must be nearby.  That couple are tourists because they are not holding anything and they are not going to travel far.  You are going out on business.  You are holding a notebook computer bag, so I can tell that this is business.  If you are going out at this time, I guess that it would not be too close.’  The man said, ‘You are right.  I’m going to Baoshan.’”

“Are those people wearing pajamas in front of supermarkets or subway stations going to travel far?  Are they going to the airport?  The airport is not going to let them enter.”

That makes sense!  I was liking this more and more.

“Many drivers complain that business is tough and the price of gas has gone up.  They are trying to pin the cause down on other people.  If you keep pinning the cause on other people, you will never get any better.  You must look at yourself to see where the problem is.”  This sounds very familiar.  It seems like “If you cannot change the world, then you should change yourself” or perhaps a pirated copy of Steven Corey’s “Circles of Influence and Concern.”  “One time, on Nandan Road, someone flagged me down and wanted to go to Tianlin.  Later on, someone else flagged me down on Nandan Road and he also wanted to go to Tianlin.  So I asked, ‘How come all you people who come out on Nandan Road want to go to Tianlin?’  He said, ‘There is a public bus depot at Nandan Road.  We all take the public bus from Pudong to there, and then we take the taxi to Tianlin.  So I understood.  For example, you look at the road that we just passed.  There are no offices, no hotels, nothing.  Just a public bus station.  Those people who flag down taxis there are mostly people who just got off the public bus, and they look for the shortest road for a taxi.  People who flag down taxis here will usually ride not more than 15 RMB.”

“Therefore, I say that the attitude determines everything!”  I have heard dozens of company CEO’s say that, but this was the first time that I heard a taxi driver say that.

“We need to use scientific methods and statistics to conduct business.  Those people who wait at the subway exits every day for business will never make money.  How are you going to provide for your wife and kids at 500 RMB a month?  This is murder?  This is slowly murdering your whole family.  You must arm yourself with knowledge.  You have to learn knowledge to become a smart person.  A smart person learns knowledge in order to become a very smart person.  A very smart person learns knowledge in order to become a genius.”

“One time, a person wanted a taxi in order to get to the train station.  I asked him how he wanted to go.  He told me how to get there.  I said that was slow.  I said to get on the elevated highway and go this other way.  He said that it was a longer way.  I said, ‘No problem.  You have experience because you go that way frequently.  It costs you 50 RMB.  If you go my way, I will turn off the meter when it reaches 50 RMB.  You can just pay me 50 RMB.  Anything more is mine.  If you go your way, it will take 50 minutes.  If I go my way, it will take 25 minutes.’  So in the end, we went my way.  We traveled an additional four kilometers but 25 minutes quicker.  I accepted only 50 RMB.  The customer was very delighted for saving about 10 RMB.  This extra four kilometers cost me just over 1 RMB in gas.  So I have swapped 1 RMB for 25 extra minutes of my time.  As I just said, my hourly cost is 34.5 RMB.  It was quite worthwhile for me!”

“In a public taxi company, an ordinary driver takes three to four thousand RMB home per month.  The good driver can get around five thousand.  The top driver can get seven thousand RMB.  Out of the 20,000 drivers, there are about two to three who can make more than 8,000 RMB a month.  I am one of those two or three.  Furthermore, it is very stable without too much fluctuation.”

Great!  By this point, I admired this taxi driver more and more.

“I often say that I am a happy driver.  Some people say, ‘That’s because you earn a lot of money.  Of course, you must be happy.’  I tell them, ‘You are wrong.  This is because I have a happy and active mind, and that is why I make a lot of money.’”

What a wonderful way to put it!

“You have to appreciate the beauty that your work brings.  Stuck in a traffic jam at People’s Plaza, many drivers complain, ‘Oh, there’s a traffic jam again!  What rotten luck!’  You must not be like that.  You should try to experience the beauty of the city.  There are many pretty girls passing by.  There are many tall modern buildings; although you cannot afford them, you can still enjoy them with an appreciative look.  While driving to the airport, you can look at the greenery on both sides.  In the winter, it is white.  How beautiful!  Look at the meter — it is more than 100 RMB.  That is even more beautiful!  Each job has its own beauty.  We need to learn how to experience that beauty in our work.”

“Ten years ago, I was a general instructor at Johnson’s.  Eight years ago, I had been the department manager for three different departments.  I quit because there was no point in making three or five thousand a month.  I decided to become a taxi driver.  I want to be a happy driver.  Ha ha ha …”

When we arrived at the airport, I gave him my business card and said, “Are you interested in coming this Friday to my office and explain to the Microsoft workers about how you operate your taxi?  You can treat it as if your meter is running at 60 kilometers per hour.  I will pay you for the time that you talk to us.  Give me a call.”

Then I began to write down his lively MBA lecture on the airplane.

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood?

Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, for an instant, you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she/he can get back her/his focus on what’s important.

Five years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a taxicab in Indianapolis. Here’s what happened:

I hopped in a taxi and we took off for Indianapolis Airport. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, I mean, he was friendly.

So, I said, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’ And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’

“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You’ll be happy you did.”

So this was it: The ‘Law of the Garbage Truck.’ I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets?

It was that day I said, ‘I’m not going to do it anymore.’

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie ‘The Sixth Sense,’ the little boy said, ‘I see Dead People.’ Well, now ‘I see Garbage Trucks.’ I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my taxi driver, I don’t make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best, for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.

What about you?

What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

You’ll be happier.

Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT! Nobody said it would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it!

“What I’ve Learned” is something I discovered on the web and most of the quotes are attributed to Dr. Mary Angelou, one of the great voices of Contemporary Literature. The version I found seems to be an adaption of what she’s supposed to have said on Oprah Winfrey’s show. Enjoy! 

I’ve Learned . . .

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night.” Age 6

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14

I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 18

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures. Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it. Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make some one’s day by simply sending them a little note. Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, it will be better tomorrow. Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Age 52

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills. Age 53

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die. Age 55

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. Age 58

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage. Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72

I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I’ve seen several. Age 75

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch, holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 85

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92

Children of Heaven, an Iranian movie directed by the Majid Majidi, has been an award-winner at many film festivals. It’s also the first Iranian movie to have been nominated for an Oscar in the Best Foreign Film category. It’s a beautiful and simple story of a brother and sister and a pair of shoes. The brother loses his sister’s pair of shoes through no fault of his. Since their parents are too poor to afford a new pair, the two kids decide to keep it a secret.  The brother promises to find the lost pair of shoes and they agree to share the brother’s pair till he finds them.

A mad rush follows as they coordinate the sharing every day - the sister runs back from school to the brother waiting in an alley, they exchange the shoes and the brother dashes to his school. Luckily they went to different schools with different timings:) Then there’s a race in the boy’s school and the third prize is a new pair of shoes.  The boy participates in the race determined to come THIRD. His sister asks him what would happen if he came first instead…

You’ll have to watch the film (check it out on youtube) to see what happens.

I saw the movie a couple of months back and loved it. The two kids are adorable, proud, wise, mature, emotional, petulant, forgiving, loving, grateful, persistent and determined. There’s something magical and poignant about the whole movie that touches you deeply. The movie has a profound message and it speaks to every age group.

“If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.” ~Rachel Carson

Talking about children, there’s so much that these little ones teach us. 

Children are non-judgmental and giving. They love you for the sake of loving. With children, you can take off your masks and just be yourself. You love them, they love you back. No questions, no conditions. It’s a simple equation which has nothing to do with bloated egos (which we nurture in our adulthood).

Children are curious. Children ask tons of questions, questions you have forgotten to ask. When we stop asking questions, we stop looking for solutions, we stop getting answers and we put a brake to our own self-growth. It may not be easy to answer all of their questions but listen to them for they’ll surely teach you more about life… and yourself.

Children are forgetful (of the unwanted) and forgiving. Ever seen kids play, fight, cry and then get back together before you could count from 1 to 100? They don’t carry any grudges and resentments. They may cry and bawl one moment and the next moment they’ll be gurgling in joy. It’s another thing that the adults remember what one kid did/said to another:)

 ”We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~Stacia Tauscher

Children are wise beyond their years. They can be amazingly understanding, mature, patient and perceptive (than most adults) if we let them be and learn to trust them. I still remember my 2 year old niece and how wise and understanding she was when her mom was away in a hospital for a few days for the delivery of her baby sister. And after the baby was born, she was the most attentive sister. So when 2nd time moms-to-be fret over how their first born will cope with the new addition to the family, I consider it my solemn duty (as a wise aunt) to assure them that the kid is going to be just great - “Trust the child, respect them and tell them the truth - they’re more mature and responsible than we give them credit for”.

Children live in the moment. For them the past does not matter and the future does not exist yet. It’s not until they start going to school and start to learn the ways of the world, that the past and future take more precedence than the present. They look at the world around them with eyes of wonder and revel in the glory they behold. We hardly notice our surroundings. We are lost in our own world, our thoughts and troubles.

 ”A young child is, indeed, a true scientist, just one big question mark. What? Why? How? I never cease to marvel at the recurring miracle of growth, to be fascinated by the mystery and wonder of this brave enthusiasm.” ~Victoria Wagner 

Children are persistent and never give up. Observe a child who’s determined to get something and how they start negotiating and cajoling you to get what they want with wide innocent eyes and a simple “Please?”. Want to master your sales skills? Negotiate with a child first:) Get them to eat their meals, get them to eat fruits & vegetables, get them to sleep early - and you’d become a master salesperson by the end of it!

Children see/find an opportunity in everything. Tomatoes. Pans. Shoes. Coasters. Sand. Spoons. Pebbles. Table. Chair. Pillow. Just name it. They see a toy in everything and they seem to know how to convert anything and everything into a game that they can play and enjoy! When they play with sand on the sea shore and the waves wash away their sand castles, they laughingly go about building a new one. Nope, haven’t seen them sitting and crying over spilt milk!

Children are a joy to be around with. Because they make you forget your worries and your troubles. They bring a smile to your face. They make you laugh and they make you cry. They are a great solace in times of grief. When we lost my dad, it was the kids who kept us going.

Children are great communicators. Month old babies and toddlers who can’t say a word - yet they get everything they want and need. How do they do it without speaking a single word? Yes, they bawl and wail and perhaps use gestures … and they twist you around your little finger. Ask the parents and they will tell you that they perfectly understand what the child wants - because parents listen with their hearts at that time. And then the transition happens as the years go by - and both switch to their heads - and cant talk straight to one another! Stay with the hearts, please!

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Children are enterprising. This is about my 5+ year old nephew when he was about 10 months old. I was engrossed in some work and he was playing near by. We were sitting on the verandah floor at my parents’ home. I happened to look up and found him busy plucking the leaves off a creeper plant. The leaves had turned yellow and were falling off and my little nephew was aiding mother nature by plucking off the not-so-yellow-green ones that he could reach. There were no more leaves within his reach. What does he do next? He took a leaf and tried putting it back. The leaf would fall off. He would pick it up again and try to put it back again. I watched him with amusement as he kept trying and trying tirelessly. I bet the words “impossible” or “failure” or “foolish/stupid’ or “not practical”  or “what’ll others think” never crossed his mind!

Children are a unique expression of the Divine. Every child is unique and different. No two children are the same. Comparing children therefore is as futile as comparing an orange with an apple or a rose with a lily. This is something someone shared with me once. Imagine you are given a packet of “nameless” seeds. Sow the seeds and nurture them daily. The gardener’s responsibility is to water the seeds, ensure they get sufficient sunshine and nutrients - i.e nurture the seeds and watch them grow into beautiful plants and bloom into beautiful flowers. Every flower is a joy to behold. Expecting a lily flower to bloom on a rose plant will only disappoint us.  So it is with us. Parents, like gardeners, must nurture the child and provide the child with essential nutrients to grow - LOVE - and then step back and watch (without any expectations) as they bloom into beautiful flowers that they are meant to be. Like a plant finds the sun and follows it during the day, so will a child find his/her purpose in life - just let them BE!

Children are agents of change. As we move into our teens and then into adulthood, we gradually lose our innocence and the joy of being. We wrap ourselves in layers and masks as means of protection and survival in this seemingly harsh world. We inherit a belief system -  and from that we create our own belief system. We build our very own perception lens through which we view this world. We take comfort and pride in living within the boundaries we create and concretize. 

Instead of enjoying life, we start taking life too seriously for our very own good. Instead of being in the moment, we either live in the past or way into the future. Instead of laughing over our troubles and moving forward, we agonize over our misfortunes and get stuck in worry, self-doubt and fear.

Perhaps that’s when the universe decides it’s time for the next generation to step in so that we come out of the rut we create. Children are a gift and there’s so much we can learn from them - if only we are willing to pay attention and listen to them with our hearts and not our heads, if only we would stop molding them into who we want them to be rather than letting them be who they already are and are meant to be, if only we would not get annoyed (because we don’t know the answers!) with their questions but ponder deeply over them.

 How have children made a difference in your life?

What have you learned from them?

I welcome you to share your experiences …

Children’s Day is celebrated all over India on November 14th every year. On this occasion, I dedicate this article to my dear nieces and nephews and other children who have taught me so much about life and about myself, to all the dear children in this world, and to the child in each one of us … the eternal child of the ONE eternal Divine…the Children of Heaven on this planet.

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A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made.

She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters which read, “Who I Am Makes a Difference.”

Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, “We’re doing a class project on recognition, and we’d like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened.”

Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, “Well, sure.” The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss’s jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, “Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people.”

That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, “The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I’m a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says ‘Who I Am Makes A Difference’” on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you.

My days are really hectic and when I come home I don’t pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You’re a great kid and I love you!”

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn’t stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, “I have been contemplating suicide, Dad, because I didn’t think you loved me. Now I know you care.”

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference. The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life. The young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson.

 Who you are DOES make a difference.

Who hasn’t heard about Pride & Prejudice? Jane Austen’s popular and much loved novel and the famous protagonists (or maybe we should call them antagonists) Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.Darcy! I first read the abridged version when I was in my early teens and soon enough got myself an unabridged version. I have lost count on the number of times I have read this book since. There was a time when I knew the book almost by heart and had memorized every single line of dialogue between the protagonists!  Mr.Darcy soon became popular in my friends circle. Actually, popular is an understatement. “Hearthrob” would be the more appropriate word. A televised version of the novel was adapted locally around the same time and we would be hooked on to it for the 13 weeks it ran and another 13 weeks when it reran a year later and …! Talk of giddy teens and their first brush with romance!

“No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride”~Unknown

I must confess that even though I have grown out my teens, I remain a faithful and incurable romantic. I have watched all possible versions of P&P, the BBC adaptations, the Hollywood versions, the A&E versions … everything that has ever been created so far for television or cinema. Even today, I never miss an opportunity to watch or read anything to do with P&P or Jane Austen or drool over Mr.Darcy and his avatars in numerous versions. Laurence Oliver and Colin Firth being my favorites. Call it the Austen magic or the Darcy madness! It runs deep and far. In fact, my husband who hasn’t read a word of the book or hardly knew anything about P&P or Austen (before we got married) pretty much knows the entire story and can identify the important characters - esp. the eccentric Mr.Collins!

“Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.”~ Unknown

Pride & Prejudice is a family and social drama set in early 19th century England society, a world when men apprently held the advantage over women in many respects. When it came to marrying to one’s liking, respectability, social status, family fortune and advantage were essential factors to be considered.

Elizabeth comes from a middle-class family and is endowed with a razor-sharp wit, intelligence and a great sense of humor. She is second in a family of five daughters and their family’s estate is entailed to a distant relative upon their father’s (Mr.Bennet) death. Their mother is ever enterprising to get her daughters married off and she lives as if her only mission in life is to see her daughters married off - find advantageous matches they must and the pressure even more so on the eldest two.

Mr.Darcy is well-born, extremely wealthy and well-educated. When he enters the middle class Bennet society, he  behaves in an outrageously haughty and insufferably proud manner. Elizabeth develops an instant dislike towards Darcy attributing her dislike to his abominable pride and condescending bearing towards others. As the drama unfolds and life throws up opportunities and challenges, they get to know one another better. One learns to overcome her “prejudice” and the other his “pride” as they get past their initial antagonism, differences and limited perceptions. Not only do they recognize the true worth and appreciate the strengths in the other person, they learn to love another.

“We are each burdened with prejudice; against the poor or the rich, the smart or the slow, the gaunt or the obese.  It is natural to develop prejudices.  It is noble to rise above them.”  ~Author Unknown

Pride and prejudice is a timeless and ageless masterpiece and the wisdom in this novel applies to all societies and people all over the world. There is an Elizabeth and a Darcy in each one of us. Pride and prejudice - are as old as humanity and like Elizabeth and Darcy did, it is natural to form pride and prejudices.

Everyone has pride - we are proud of our nations, cultures, religions, families, ourselves. So, what’s wrong about it? Nothing’s wrong with pride - pride in one’s own worth  - as long as that pride doesn’t become reason to become vain and arrogant and look down upon or abuse other nations, cultures, religions, families, people, beliefs, faiths, opinions etc.

We are equally burdened with prejudices - we have a natural tendency to judge everyone and everything around us as good or bad, right or wrong, rich or poor, intelligent or dumb, fair or dark and so on.

“O Lord, help me not to despise or oppose what I do not understand.”  ~William Penn

Like a frog living in a well, we tend to believe that our own well is the whole universe, that we know and understand is the whole truth. This breeds separative consciousness making us forget that we are just one tiny part of a whole and what we know and understand is a tiny part of the whole truth.

As we peel through the outer layers of pride and prejudice that we have created in ourselves and clothed others in, we realize that they are just layers (non-essentials that keep us distracted) created by our mind and thoughts and that at the (essential) core, we are all the same with the same basic needs and wants - love, appreciation, recognition, security etc.   Not only are we the same, we are collectively ONE macrocosm - like trillions of cells performing different functions for one body - no one cell is less or more important. Similarly, we are all ONE Spirit - no one is less or more important - we are all equal.

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When I first started painting, I had no clue where to begin or what to do. I got myself a learning kit and attempted my first oil painting session. Needless to say, the first painting was a disaster. The colors got all mixed and messed up. Looked at the painting, I couldn’t figure out what was what. My husband quipped he could spot a mountain out there and a couple of trees out here…and congratulated me on my efforts!

Painting is an art, and some of us in the world are gifted indeed! What I soon discovered (for myself) is that there is a science behind painting, like everything else in this universe. Once you understand the science and practice the science, it doesn’t take longer for it to become an art. After all, art is nothing but science mastered with a blend of personal creativity and unique expression!

A good analogy is learning to drive a car. I remember those days when I was learning to drive. Four gears. Three mirrors. Steering wheel. Speedometer. Accelerator. Brake. Clutch. I had to remember and follow the driving steps /guidelines and the state/country traffic laws, be wary of the policeman and the maddening traffic around, watch out for those huge trucks - and it’s a miracle I even learned how to drive!

I was sure when I began that there was no way I could master the required coordination and smooth flow. I remember many embarrassing moments. The most embarrassing was when my car refused to budge at a signal because I had forgotten to change the gear. Traffic came to a standstill. Cars honked all over and people glared at me! Some kind souls offered to help … adding to my chagrin! If only there were a dark hole somewhere, I would have happily crawled into it! In retrospect, however, it seems like a whole lot of fun - guess it’s the devil in me deriving some mean satisfaction:)

The day finally comes when science of driving leads to the art of driving. You are honking at hapless learners, you are no longer bothered by the traffic or the demonic trucks, you ignore the policemen lurking around corners, you listen to tapes/CDs, you chat on the cell with one hand on the steering, you talk animatedly with your friends or argue with your spouse, you participate in phone meetings …

Ok. Let’s digress no further. Coming back to painting, even though it is an art, there’s a whole lot of science behind it. It’s a play of light, darkness or absence of light, color and forms. Contrasts and shadows.  White and black. Primary colors. Secondary colors. Tertiary colors. The visible and invisible spectrums of light.

Observation and study builds the science, practice and patience brings out the art. The more I painted, the keener my observation became. I looked at the world like never before. I would admire the contours, the lighted areas, the shadows and the multitude of colors all around. How the light and shadows created the three-dimensional aspect.  Flowers. Leaves. Trees. Animals. Birds. Water. Rivers. Rain. Snow. Hills. People. Faces.  My husband’s face became a favorite study:)

When I looked out of the windows, I  would observe the play of light and shadows during different times. Day vs night. Sunlight vs moonlight. Dawn vs dusk. Clear vs cloudy skies.  New moon vs full moon nights. Changing seasons.

I was drawn deeper into nature and the beauty and perfection around. It was breathtaking and mesmerizing. I was in awe and admiration the Creator. I felt a deep respect and reverence for the Divine as I perceived the Divine all around me in myriads of manifestations - forms and formless, animate and inanimate.

And for the first time, when I looked at my own self, I looked with new eyes, the eyes of the Divine and I saw the Divine dancing in me… 

Take a moment and look at the world around you…look deep and you’ll see the Divine Creator behind everything…take a look at yourself and  see the same Divine dancing within you…

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE?

You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Success & Self-Mastery Coach Prasanna Gunturi publishes the ‘The Energy Perpective’ weekly ezine. If you’re ready to live and lead your life energetically and successfully always and in all ways, get your free tips now at http://www.energysoulutionsallways.com/.