“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” ~Rabbinical Saying

Children of Heaven, an Iranian movie directed by the Majid Majidi, has been an award-winner at many film festivals. It’s also the first Iranian movie to have been nominated for an Oscar in the Best Foreign Film category. It’s a beautiful and simple story of a brother and sister and a pair of shoes. The brother loses his sister’s pair of shoes through no fault of his. Since their parents are too poor to afford a new pair, the two kids decide to keep it a secret.  The brother promises to find the lost pair of shoes and they agree to share the brother’s pair till he finds them.

A mad rush follows as they coordinate the sharing every day - the sister runs back from school to the brother waiting in an alley, they exchange the shoes and the brother dashes to his school. Luckily they went to different schools with different timings:) Then there’s a race in the boy’s school and the third prize is a new pair of shoes.  The boy participates in the race determined to come THIRD. His sister asks him what would happen if he came first instead…

You’ll have to watch the film (check it out on youtube) to see what happens.

I saw the movie a couple of months back and loved it. The two kids are adorable, proud, wise, mature, emotional, petulant, forgiving, loving, grateful, persistent and determined. There’s something magical and poignant about the whole movie that touches you deeply. The movie has a profound message and it speaks to every age group.

“If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.” ~Rachel Carson

Talking about children, there’s so much that these little ones teach us. 

Children are non-judgmental and giving. They love you for the sake of loving. With children, you can take off your masks and just be yourself. You love them, they love you back. No questions, no conditions. It’s a simple equation which has nothing to do with bloated egos (which we nurture in our adulthood).

Children are curious. Children ask tons of questions, questions you have forgotten to ask. When we stop asking questions, we stop looking for solutions, we stop getting answers and we put a brake to our own self-growth. It may not be easy to answer all of their questions but listen to them for they’ll surely teach you more about life… and yourself.

Children are forgetful (of the unwanted) and forgiving. Ever seen kids play, fight, cry and then get back together before you could count from 1 to 100? They don’t carry any grudges and resentments. They may cry and bawl one moment and the next moment they’ll be gurgling in joy. It’s another thing that the adults remember what one kid did/said to another:)

 ”We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~Stacia Tauscher

Children are wise beyond their years. They can be amazingly understanding, mature, patient and perceptive (than most adults) if we let them be and learn to trust them. I still remember my 2 year old niece and how wise and understanding she was when her mom was away in a hospital for a few days for the delivery of her baby sister. And after the baby was born, she was the most attentive sister. So when 2nd time moms-to-be fret over how their first born will cope with the new addition to the family, I consider it my solemn duty (as a wise aunt) to assure them that the kid is going to be just great - “Trust the child, respect them and tell them the truth - they’re more mature and responsible than we give them credit for”.

Children live in the moment. For them the past does not matter and the future does not exist yet. It’s not until they start going to school and start to learn the ways of the world, that the past and future take more precedence than the present. They look at the world around them with eyes of wonder and revel in the glory they behold. We hardly notice our surroundings. We are lost in our own world, our thoughts and troubles.

 ”A young child is, indeed, a true scientist, just one big question mark. What? Why? How? I never cease to marvel at the recurring miracle of growth, to be fascinated by the mystery and wonder of this brave enthusiasm.” ~Victoria Wagner 

Children are persistent and never give up. Observe a child who’s determined to get something and how they start negotiating and cajoling you to get what they want with wide innocent eyes and a simple “Please?”. Want to master your sales skills? Negotiate with a child first:) Get them to eat their meals, get them to eat fruits & vegetables, get them to sleep early - and you’d become a master salesperson by the end of it!

Children see/find an opportunity in everything. Tomatoes. Pans. Shoes. Coasters. Sand. Spoons. Pebbles. Table. Chair. Pillow. Just name it. They see a toy in everything and they seem to know how to convert anything and everything into a game that they can play and enjoy! When they play with sand on the sea shore and the waves wash away their sand castles, they laughingly go about building a new one. Nope, haven’t seen them sitting and crying over spilt milk!

Children are a joy to be around with. Because they make you forget your worries and your troubles. They bring a smile to your face. They make you laugh and they make you cry. They are a great solace in times of grief. When we lost my dad, it was the kids who kept us going.

Children are great communicators. Month old babies and toddlers who can’t say a word - yet they get everything they want and need. How do they do it without speaking a single word? Yes, they bawl and wail and perhaps use gestures … and they twist you around your little finger. Ask the parents and they will tell you that they perfectly understand what the child wants - because parents listen with their hearts at that time. And then the transition happens as the years go by - and both switch to their heads - and cant talk straight to one another! Stay with the hearts, please!

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Children are enterprising. This is about my 5+ year old nephew when he was about 10 months old. I was engrossed in some work and he was playing near by. We were sitting on the verandah floor at my parents’ home. I happened to look up and found him busy plucking the leaves off a creeper plant. The leaves had turned yellow and were falling off and my little nephew was aiding mother nature by plucking off the not-so-yellow-green ones that he could reach. There were no more leaves within his reach. What does he do next? He took a leaf and tried putting it back. The leaf would fall off. He would pick it up again and try to put it back again. I watched him with amusement as he kept trying and trying tirelessly. I bet the words “impossible” or “failure” or “foolish/stupid’ or “not practical”  or “what’ll others think” never crossed his mind!

Children are a unique expression of the Divine. Every child is unique and different. No two children are the same. Comparing children therefore is as futile as comparing an orange with an apple or a rose with a lily. This is something someone shared with me once. Imagine you are given a packet of “nameless” seeds. Sow the seeds and nurture them daily. The gardener’s responsibility is to water the seeds, ensure they get sufficient sunshine and nutrients - i.e nurture the seeds and watch them grow into beautiful plants and bloom into beautiful flowers. Every flower is a joy to behold. Expecting a lily flower to bloom on a rose plant will only disappoint us.  So it is with us. Parents, like gardeners, must nurture the child and provide the child with essential nutrients to grow - LOVE - and then step back and watch (without any expectations) as they bloom into beautiful flowers that they are meant to be. Like a plant finds the sun and follows it during the day, so will a child find his/her purpose in life - just let them BE!

Children are agents of change. As we move into our teens and then into adulthood, we gradually lose our innocence and the joy of being. We wrap ourselves in layers and masks as means of protection and survival in this seemingly harsh world. We inherit a belief system -  and from that we create our own belief system. We build our very own perception lens through which we view this world. We take comfort and pride in living within the boundaries we create and concretize. 

Instead of enjoying life, we start taking life too seriously for our very own good. Instead of being in the moment, we either live in the past or way into the future. Instead of laughing over our troubles and moving forward, we agonize over our misfortunes and get stuck in worry, self-doubt and fear.

Perhaps that’s when the universe decides it’s time for the next generation to step in so that we come out of the rut we create. Children are a gift and there’s so much we can learn from them - if only we are willing to pay attention and listen to them with our hearts and not our heads, if only we would stop molding them into who we want them to be rather than letting them be who they already are and are meant to be, if only we would not get annoyed (because we don’t know the answers!) with their questions but ponder deeply over them.

 How have children made a difference in your life?

What have you learned from them?

I welcome you to share your experiences …

Children’s Day is celebrated all over India on November 14th every year. On this occasion, I dedicate this article to my dear nieces and nephews and other children who have taught me so much about life and about myself, to all the dear children in this world, and to the child in each one of us … the eternal child of the ONE eternal Divine…the Children of Heaven on this planet.

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