“They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.” - Carol Buchner

There’s a story from many years ago of a primary school teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson and as she stood in front of her fifth grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn’t play well with the other children, his clothes were messy and he constantly needed a bath. Teddy could be quite unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold Xs and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last.

However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs.. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful paper and tied with pretty ribbons, except for Teddy’s. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to.”

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded.. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class, and despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets.”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time, he explained that after he got his Bachelor degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now, his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course Mrs. Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you, Mrs.. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me I could make a difference.”

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me I could make a difference.. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to love all that others hate,
And to befriend those whom others defame.
My soul counseled me and revealed unto me that love dignifies not alone the one who loves, but also the beloved.
Unto that day love was for me a thread of cobweb between two flowers, close to one another;
But now it has become a halo with neither beginning nor end,
Encircling all that has been, and waxing eternally to embrace all that shall be.

My soul counseled me and taught me to see beauty veiled by form and color.
My soul charged me to gaze steadfastly upon all that is deemed ugly until it appears lovely
Before my soul had thus charged and counseled me, I had seemed to see beauty like unto wavering torches between pillars of smoke;
But now the smoke has dispersed and vanished and I see naught but the burning.

My soul counseled me and charged me to listen for voices that rise neither from the tongue nor the throat.
Before that day I heard but dully, and naught save clamor and loud cries came to my ears;
But now I have learned to listen to silence,
To hear its choirs singing the songs of ages,
Chanting the hymns of space, and disclosing the secrets of eternity.

My soul spoke to me and counseled me to quench my thirst with that wine which may not be poured into cups,
Nor lifted by hands, nor touched by lips.
Unto that day my thirst was like a dim spark laid in ashes
To be put out by a drought from any spring;
But now my strong yearning has become my cup,
Love has become my wine, and loneliness my joy.

My soul counseled me and charged me to seek that which is unseen;
And my soul revealed unto me that the thing we grasp is the thing we desire.
In other days I was content with warmth in winter, and with a cooling zephyr in the summer season;
But now my fingers are become as mist,
Letting fall all that they have held, to mingle with the unseen that I now desire.

My soul spoke to me and invited me to breathe the fragrance from a plant
That has neither root nor stalk nor blossom, and that no eye has seen.
Before my soul counseled me thus, I sought perfumes in the gardens,
In jars of sweet-smelling herbs and vessels of incense;
But now I am aware only of an incense that may not be burned,
I breathe an air more fragrant than all earth’s gardens and all the winds of space.

My soul counseled me and charged me to answer and say: “I follow,” when the unknown and the adventurous call unto me.
Hitherto I had answered naught but the voice of the crier in the market place,
Nor did I pursue aught save roads charted and well trodden;
But now the known has become a steed that I mount to seek the unknown,
And the road has become a ladder by which I may climb to the perilous summit.

My soul counseled me and admonished me to measure time with this saying:
“There was a yesterday and there shall be a tomorrow.”
Unto that hour I deemed the past an epoch that is lost and shall be forgotten,
And the future I deemed an era that I may not attain;
But now I have learned this:
That in the brief present all time, with all that is in time,
Is achieved and come true.

My soul spoke and revealed unto me that I am not bound in space by the words:
“Here, there, and over there.”
Hitherto I stood upon my hill, and every other hill seemed distant and far away;
But now I know that the hill whereon I dwell is indeed all hills,
And the valley whereunto I descend comprehends all valleys.

My soul counseled me and besought me to watch while others sleep
And to seek my pillow while they are wakeful,
For in all my years I had not perceived their dreams, nor they mine.
But now I am winged by day in my dreaming,
And when they sleep I behold them free upon the night,
And I rejoice in their freedom.

My soul counseled me and charged me lest I be exalted because of over praise
And lest I distressed for fear of blame.
Until that day I doubted the work of my own handiwork;
But now I have learned this:
That the trees blossom in spring, and bear fruit in summer,
And drop their leaves in autumn to become utterly naked in winter
Without exaltation and without fear or shame.

My soul counseled me and assured me
That I am neither higher than the pygmy nor lower than the giant.
Before that day I beheld mankind as two men,
The one a weakling whom I derided or pitied,
And the other a mighty man whom I would either follow, or oppose in rebellion.
But now I know that I was formed even from the same dust of which all men are created,
That my elements are their elements, and my inner self is their inner self.
My struggle is their struggle, and their pilgrimage is mine own.
If they transgress, I am also the transgressor,
And if they do well, then I have a share in their well-doing.
If they arise, I too arise with them; if they stay behind, I also, to company them.

My soul counseled me and instructed me to see that the light which I carry is not my light,
That my song was not created within me;
For though I travel with the light, I am not the light,
And though I am a lute fastened with strings,
I am not the lute-player.

My soul counseled me, my brother, and enlightened me.
And oftentimes has your soul counseled and enlightened you.
For you are like me, and there is no difference between us
Save that I speak of what is within me in words that I have heard in my silence,
And you guard what is within you, and your guardianship is as goodly as my much speaking.

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~ Abraham Lincoln 

When we are young, we believe life would be so much easier when we grow up. Well, at least that’s what I imagined when I was a kid! I wouldn’t have to listen to preaching elders, I would do what I wanted. I would read my favorite authors instead of studying boring subjects. I would watch TV once I got back from work and not worry about completing tedious homework. I would be financially independent, earn my own money and spend it as I wanted without depending on parents for the money or permission. I would travel all over the world and never get tired, I would buy all the fashionable clothes, I would eat what I wanted - and so on!

Now, I look at my nieces and nephews and follow their train of thought - gosh! so similar to mine when I was their age! They can’t seem to wait to grow up into adults! And I envy them wishing secretly that I could go back to my childhood and be carefree and happy as children could be!

How does one tell these unsuspecting children that life’s not what it seems to be? That when you grow up, you’ll realize that life’s not as hunky dory as you thought it would be! At least in school, you had your lessons first, you studied and prepared, and then you wrote your exams. Real life is so different, you appear before the exams before you learn your lessons! And more often than not, it takes repeated exams for us to really get the lesson because unlike in school, there’s no set date for an exam, no prior notice, it just hits you BANG! In school, we had a syllabus and a time table that we followed, in life we don’t even know when our next exam is or what our next lesson’s gonna be like! Life and the universe love to spring a surprise on us hapless humans! No breaks and no vacation time either…aaaghhhh! 

So, it’s no surprise that many of us feel that life’s a constant struggle! Even before you have figured out what life is all about and how to go about it, you get into relationships, get married and have children… Once children arrive, you are learning more than you are teaching them, more exams and more lessons - tougher and tougher they seem to get! No escaping life’s school!

Now, honestly, how often do you feel life’s a struggle? That you never get what you ask for? That life’s one step ahead of you and taking you by surprise with unexpected twists and turns? That you deserve a break and wish fervently that life would go find someone else to test and teach? How about the “successful” and “lucky” who seem to have everything that you wished for? How about those “cheerful” and “happy go lucky” people who don’t seem to have a care or worry in the world while here you are carrying the entire world on your shoulders ?

More than a year ago, I was having this intense discussion about life with my sis-in-law (the gist of which somewhat ran along the above lines) and how wonderful life was when we were children. Her son (my little nephew) is quite a handful and his sole mission in life seems to be teaching his parents one tough lesson after another!  Talking about life, she suddenly remembered this poem she read in her son’s school diary and read it aloud for me. It goes like this … you can replace God with Life or the Universe or whatever that works for you!

I asked for strength.
God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom.
God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity.
God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage.
God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for patience.
God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.

I asked for love.
God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors.
God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.

This poem is all over the web and the author is unknown! Whoever the author might have been, he/she has summarized life in a few wonderful sentences.

When I look back at my own life, I know how apt the above lines are. It’s not the easier parts of life that I remember and cherish but the moments and times when I had to stretch myself beyond what I believed I was capable of, when I tapped into an inner courage I never thought existed, when I had to wait and wait and every second was worth waiting for …

I have faced my own share of difficulties and overcoming them has given me confidence and strength. There’s nothing like confidence and strength that you have worked hard for.

Every problem I have solved has made me that much more wiser and kinder. It’s an amazing feeling when you get to the bottom of a problem and solve it, you have this incredible sense of achievement and nothing can beat that empowering feeling!

You receive love in life when you begin to give love. The more you give, the more you get back in return. The world is a circle of love. The more you help the troubled ones, the more life gives back to you. These are the times when I have realized how fortunate and blessed I was/am and what an enormous energy shift it is when you count your blessings and appreciate all that you have in life!

Life never bestows favors on anyone. People are “successful” and “lucky” by working on opportunities that life presents to them. Many a time I found my opportunities disguised as problems and difficulties - so beware! That has taught me never to underestimate what life has in store for you! Never!

Yes, life has never given me what I wanted always but it has given me more than that. It has helped me grow, evolve and be a better human being and that I consider the greatest favor life has bestowed upon me… and I can assure  you it will continue to do so because there’s no cap to growing, evolving and being a better human being and I know there’s plenty of scope for me in that direction:)

It’s true, life is not easy. It has it’s ups and downs and highs and lows. There are times we are frustrated and disappointed and disillusioned and there are those wonderful moments when we are elated, upbeat and totally happy! Every person on this planet has his/her share of fortunes and misfortunes. It’s only when we start looking at failures and misfortunes and problems for what they truly are instead of what they appear to be, that life starts making any sense at all…and we begin to start living.

And when you realize that the sole purpose of life is to help you grow, evolve and be a better human being, you will no longer regret a single moment of your life so far … in retrospect everything that happened happened for a reason!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE?

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